Sick of Seeing Benji's Balls?

I don't know about you, but I'm growing ill from seeing cute little Benjamin's balls everytime I click on this page so I thought I'd throw in a pic of Michael Phelps when he was just a spermy and plug our survival football league on the side. If you haven't already done so, please sign up and invite as many other people as you'd like for survival football...very low maintenance, no cost, and a lot of fun. I'd like to fill it up to 50. Here's the deets:

Go to: http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/survival

Group ID#: 14430

Password: gojets

All you do is pick one NFL team to win each week. If they win, you move on to the next week. If they lose, you're done for the year. Only catch is you cannot pick the same team more than once. You'll be surprised how fun it is assuming you make it past week 1.

Enough about Brett Favre....More Davies Manhood.

I, like all of you, are sick of Brett Favre talk and were even more sickened when he went to our good friend's New York Jets. Not that we think this will do the Jets any good, but because we'll have to have at least one Brett Favre post a week for the next 20 or so to come. In order to end the shenanigans I will post something different although ironically prefaced with the same garbage.
My son Benjamin Bruce Davies was born on Aug 11th. He is a grumpy little bean with dark hair and massive manhood.
He is a little guy and we love having him. On a side note, here is a less provocative photo for your perusal. Much love.

Brett Farve and his deal with the devil...

The summer of 2008, Brett Farve announced his unretirement in front of cameras from several networks. One network, ESPN, upon hearing the news realized their wet dreams finally had come true and renamed themselves the BFN (Butt Fu**Network, I mean the Brett Farve Network).
In the excitement of the moment, John Madden jumped on a plane for the first time in known history to get across the country and hold his hero in a loving embrace. Mr. Madden asked the BFN if he could have exclusive rights to report all things “Brett” and do a 30 hour expose on the life and times of the best player of all time. (Which of course, once the special aired, it would play over and over again until the network had to break the cycle to show the latest Jets preseason, regular season, and of course post season game.)
John’s research took him to back to different segments of the world’s history he only thought he would remember from his childhood drawings in petroglyphs on canyon walls. John discovered that he was not the only human still living that experienced the sole continent known as Pangea. Fond memories of playing with the dinosaurs and the experiencing the earth’s ever changing environment as the continents separated, creating the world we know today. Mr. Madden discovered that Brett Farve was also amongst the dinos. Brett preferred the T-Rex over the Stegasaurus for the sport aspect the T-Rex offered. Unknown to all that are alive today, in our earth’s infancy, Brett Farve met a creature known to all of us as the devil, and he made a deal promising his eternal “youth” as long as Brett continued to do the devil’s bidding through out all of time. Brett concurred and played an integral part in our history.
Through out time, Brett has aligned himself with people of great power. It was Brett Farve that in the 12th century taught King Henry that killing his wife was a good thing (couldn’t agree more on some days). Later, he met with his peep, Adolf and taught him everything he knew. In the late 60’s Brett was sitting on a grassy knoll in Sugarland, TX as a prominent world leader drove by… following the devil’s bidding, the world leader was destroyed.
In reward for years and years of servitude, the devil gave Brett the gift of “the arm” that had the ability to throw the pigskin in a perfect spiral. Mr. Madden’s love affair with Brett didn’t start until the draft of 1991 (the year of the devil) where Brett was “chosen” 33rd overall.
His career spanned nearly 70 years (17… 70, what is the difference to someone that has lived for a kabillion years?) that had 442 touch down tosses and that, of course in Mr. Madden’s opinon, makes Brett the most amazing, most talented, most babe a licious football player of all time. (He would know after all- he’s been there since the beginning of time, though he didn’t have to sign a contract with the devil, he just lived an exceptionally healthy life.)
John interviewed several fans from Green Bay who were upset that Brett would go to another team, but since it is negative, John wouldn’t share those quotes with anyone. He found the sole Jets fan in South Bend of all places and he was quoted as saying, “I have been a firm believer of the devil’s power for many years. I am thrilled to hear that Brett brings the promise of “the arm” to my team, finally securing the Jets Super Bowl title. Suck it everyone else!”

Pre-Draft Franchise Picks (FINALIZED FINALLY)

1.  GotRuns - Mikey selects: Reggie Wayne

2.  Bastardos - Yergy selects: Brandon Marshall         

3.  Iced Americano - Booner selects: Edge James

4.  KGB - Jashua selects: Derek Anderson

5.  Brooks Lee Roth - Brooks P. selects: Lawrence Maroney

6.  Muscleheads - O Town selects: Plaxico Burress

7.  AJR - Abey selects: Maurice Jones-Drew

8.  Johnny Utah - Gfunk selects:   Anquan Boldin

9.  BigNips - Crance selects: TJ Housh

10. Laser Beams - Tommy J selects:  Peyton Manning

11.  Cool Hand Druke - Drew selects: Former Vol Jamal Lewis

12.  Busdrivers - Andy selects: Queer-bate Tony Romo

13. Kungfuchop - Tbone selects: Reggie Bush

14. Asskickers - Steve-arino selects: Andre Johnson

Draft Order Video

Most of you have likely seen this...but here is the academy award winning draft lottery video:  

Hey Steve-Arino You Bumlicker!

In good taste, I believe the first blog of the season should be dedicated to Steve Fletcher aka queer dolphin biscuit.  After all these years of sending me texts about Chad Pennington needing to get work done on his vagina, I thought you might like this picture.  Seriously, I hope you enjoy his 4th grade flies-up arm and his vagina.