This Video Will Explain what happened to Drew on Monday Night!

Simply Marvel-ous

Team Marvel

"Tyler, go ahead and check-off three more for Comic-Con 2009... bub"

Sean Yergensen's Myspace? (Link fixed)

I came across this tonight. I think it's worth a look.
www.myspace.com/xXxYergayxXx

...Week 7..."Exciting"

Week 7 has been full of excitement. Given my teams current predicament (losing every week and losing my top scorer Reggie Bush), I am slowly getting in to the mindset of planning for next year and calling this year a "fun" experience. My goal now is to not finish in last place.

Anyways, this little kids face reminds me of what I felt over the weekend. You remember being a kid and getting so excited or upset that you blew snot all over your face???...well, I do. This displays the image I was going for. Enjoy!

Week 6 = Disgusting

As promised, I am not posting pictures of poo to express my feelings about my team. This pic however seems to express perfectly how I feel about week 6's performance. I seriously want to throw up after choking so much at the end. Kudos to Amani Toomer for not catching a single pass and kudos to Eli Manning for throwing 90% of his passes to his new butt buddy, Steve Smith.

Go Team!

Noted

I will respect all of your wishes concerning my poo posts. Rest assured, my frustration with my team will still be expressed...just not in the form of fecal matter...but it will be expressed!!

Suggestions for Tyler

Tyler in that I do not (although I appreciate the humor) like to look at nasty poo whenever I log on I am going to give you a suggestion on other themes to express your disappointment in your team this year:

1) "That game blew Chunks!"Other photos of Jeff Cohen will work great. Let me know if this helped.

2) "I screwed the Pooch!"

Ahh doggie lovin.

I'm looking down on u going down on me

I don't know how to blog. My wife blogs. If anyone wants to see more pics of me on our blog just let me know.

Seal

Thanks Mike

BETTER THAN LOOKING AT SH#&T

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Week 5 = Something solid...Something soft

Week 5 had a few moments of real solid football. Reggie Bush running back 2 punt returns was a big highlight for Monday Night Football...and also would have been a highlight for my team had I not already been down by more than 30 fantasy points. TO did his normal thing with a TD. The soft play came from the 6 other players that all scored 3 points individually. 6 players with 3 points each!!! Go Fight Win fellas!

Looking forward to a lot more of the same crap in week 6.

come full circle

thought I would do you the favor t-bone (just so you wouldn't have to bother posting once more about how disappointing your team is come tuesday morning)

In response to our economic state post by Mike

To truly get the gist of my feelings about our current economic predicament, please see the picture from my last post. That pretty much sums it up.

Time to start drinking

If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock one year ago you
would have $49.00 left.

With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00.

With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.

But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank
all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling
REFUND, you would have $214.00 cash.

Based on the above, the best curren t investment advice is to drink
heavily and recycle.

It's called the 401-Keg

A recent study found the average American walks about 900 miles a year.

Another study found Americans drink, on the average, 22 gallons of
alcohol a year. That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to
the gallon.


Makes You Proud To Be An American!

PS.
I had to post this so we all don't have to look at shit everytime we check the blog!

Week 4....sporatic poop

This week had some highs and lows. In the end, my teams performance as a whole ended up being very "splotchy." This pic describes it perfectly! GO TEAM!!!

ajr vs dly

in preparation of the much anticipated match between the two and only remaining undefeated teams this weekend

Week 3 for Tyler = MORE POOP

My team was so terrible this week that it missed the toilet entirely. This pic says it all for Kungfuchop's week 3. Actually, I would like to dedicate this picture to the current performance of the highly talked about David Garrard. GO JAGS!

I never thought I would say this...but I miss Eli Manning.

Great video post

Mike,

I'm assuming that it is safe to estimate that you will not be participating in next summer's road trip???

COMICCON 2008

a hipper version of sean... sort of

broox: that guys an idiot

Jackson's first gaffe

This is a tribute to the conversation that Drew and I had today chatting online. Keep in mind, I am neither a MAC or PC loyalist, but I do find this funny. It comes from THIS WEB SITE(Click Here)(NOT SAFE FOR WORK, BUT NO NUDITY).

first to hit it

unless both of my WR go in the negatives tonight, team AJR has hit the century. A first for the team and first this season amongst all teams.

Pictionary Time

It's Pictionary Time everyone! I'll give you hint. The answer to this mysterious puzzle represents what I feel so far about my current team this year. The winner will receive a personal email attachment of the picture that Josh sent out last week to set as your desktop background.

Radiohead: Outlands Festival

Back in August I travelled to the land of San Fran to see my favorite band Radiohead. I was on the first row. A couple hours before the show, I was able to get a picture of Thom Yorke backstage. I decided to post it for your viewing pleasure. Oh, and the concert was amazing.

Nate Kaeding is the cutest ever!

Look at this guy. How can I not be a winner with this little dude on my team.












I would like to reevaluate the rankings Drew posted right after the draft.

14.
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2. Doesn't matter you all suck
1. BigNipples.Crance: All I got to say is suck it I'm running the table. Go Nate Kaeding.

It was so easy...

Drew, thanks for all the sweet man porn sites. They were helpful, but just not enough to push me over "the edge." I was about to give up when I remembered the solution has already been offered. I quickly scrolled down our blog to this...

Which of coarse made it easy to make this...

Thanks for the help Bret. Your supreme gay-ness really got me out of a pinch!

P.S. Lance, is it just me or after looking at Bret's sexy picture do you crave a McRib???

Brethren

I apologize for my colossal failure in judgement in how I chose to respond. I failed to consider that children would be on laps or wives over husband's shoulders when I superimposed his face on that she-male. It was an exaggerated response to not only the initial pic, but also to the bang-a-rang, chuckles, and erroneous score keeping.

I submit to you this lapse in foresight will not happen again. I merely researched what the terms of use for posting adult content on blogspot, without considering the collateral damage of viewing wives and curious children, seeing Sean's head on the model of shemale.

When I discovered it was permissible, I posted it. While it was only up for less than an hour, the damage was levied, and my humility summoned.

Again, my humble apologies. I'll be much more calculated in my retorts. And for those of you scarred by that awful image, (trust me - it was brutal to have to wade through some of the darkest corners of the internet for suitable tranny models- seriously... I skipped dinner after it) my deepest regrets.

Fatty

Boone! You look fat. Way to let yourself go fatass! I can see some serious rolls/stretchmarks in that pic. Why don't don't you go hit the weightroom or something you overgrown pile of lard.

Censorship- Understandable

I understand that Josh may or may not have posted a lewd picture? I my self have yet to see it. In no way am I arguing that there should be no censorship on our page. All of your children are precious and I agree that we should not infect their supple minds.

However, can you guys at least leave a link of some sorts... I never got to see Josh's rebuttal and unlike your kids I kind of get off on all the lewd gayness. Please for me, link the boner photos.

Sean: 1 - Josh: Winner

I had no idea Sean was a gentile.

Boone??

Has no one noticed Boone's picture on his Yahoo profile and am I going to be the only one to make fun of him?  Seriously, this is a league of all dudes...it is a sausage fest in here!  Do you think any of us want to see your chiseled abs, your tight faded pit hair, your notoriously perky nips, and your 7 countable ribs?  

I'll tell you what we would like to see though...if you can have the same exact topless pose but instead of you have it be of your mom.  Now that would be awesome!

Boo ya...MILF joke!  

Start the Flamin' with a Flamer

Josh - perverted winner, Sean - bowing out before someone gets arrested

AVGN - Tom & Josh

I watched this video this morning and could not resist. If you ever played this game as a kid, you will laugh your ass off. This especially reminded me of Tom and Josh's "attempt" to conquer this game using the NES emulator. The first 3 minutes of this video are kind of slow, but funny if you watch this guys videos on a regular basis. Otherwise just sit tight through that until he starts talking about the game.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH MOVIE

It was impossible to contain my excitement, united with so many SLC brethren in the Valley of the Sun. As Andy as our host, Atomicus Johnson, Master of the Regular Season, Abraham Reyna, Former KGB Rival, and Joshua Egan, Champion of the Strongest Schedule (hereafter referred to as 'I' or 'me'), enjoyed the thrill of shenanigans that inevitably accompany all drafting experiences. The evening was kicked off with hearty helpings of shredded beef sandwiches, crock-potted to perfection. It was a fabulous feast worthy of victualing praise
Abe and Andy were perhaps the most engaged in the process, rivalled only by Thom. I, on the other hand, was more interested in making sure Sean was aware of how inferior he is to me.

There was riotous laughter directed at the fool who picked Chad Pennington way too early in the draft. That had to be one of the highest points of the evening.

The only real dissatisfaction from the process was the reality that we are a 14 deep league. 20 minutes between picks when the picks are all but a 1.5 minutes was a point of contention and frustration for all. Occasionally a participant would curse, upset by someone narrowly succeeding in snagging an intended pick, but for the most part, draft participants maintained their cool.



This blog wouldn't be complete without mention of Baby Mae. She is the cutest baby on the planet. I'm sorry to all friends out there with offspring - none come close to the cuteness of the Mae. I'm not even sure my babies will be as cute as her. At one point, Baby Mae tried to turn Thomas Johnson into the maniacal Joker, spraying hazardous chemicals all over his clothes. She's so playful.


What could more inappropriate than my scathing and often vulgar criticisms of Sean the $#$% Man? A: The wives being present while I scathingly and vulgarly criticise Sean the Sissy Man. It wasn't long before my wicked cackles and barely audible profane mutterings that the women excused themselves for a night at the movies. To save them face, the movie they chose will remain nameless.

Upon their return, the wives discovered their merry men engaged in playful banter as Mario karts raced off cliffs more often than they raced across finish lines.



In closing, the night exemplified what fantasy football is all about: bringing good friends together to talk sports and trash talk Sean Yergenson.




I thus end my epistle. I am Joshua. A Mormon

Guys Road Trip 2009

Okay, I promise I won't make a habit of discussing non-related fantasy items in this blog, but this I feel is the easiest and most appropriate way to do this. Brooks and I have been talking about what could be a very fun guys road trip next summer in July. We were talking about going to Comic-Con 2009 in San Diego. The dates of the convention are July 23 - 26. If we want to attend everything and have access to all of the events, we need to register and pay online in advance. As far as I can see on the web site, the cost is $75 per person for all 4 days (which is not that bad for a total geek convention like this). If you are interested, either let me or Brooks know so we can start getting it planned.

---You may now make your smartass geek comments/attacks. I am expecting and awaiting them. The person with the most creative "You are such a nerd" comment will receive a life size door poster of Coach Knute Rockne giving the thumbs up!---

Draft Rankings

First things first...here's a good little video:  www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wfXl3oyUHw

Now here's the good stuff...this year's Draft Breakdown.  Based on the projected fantasy points for each team starting lineups without any bias...here's the draft rankings (FROM WORSE TO BEST):

14.  Crance - However, if the draft analysis was based on the cutest guy drafted, Lance would rank number one with his Nate Kaeding pic.  Plus, I think Lance has post of the year so far on his "Slow" jerk post.  Hilarious.

13.  KGB - Josh stayed true to form by picking up a Cincinnati Bengal player and also by taking shots at Sean's Vah J.J.  

12. Boone - Inaugural draft and apparently his first time using the computer proved deadly for rookie comer Iced Americano (which is apparently a coffee drink - cool name).

11.  Bastardos - Sean should have definitely been the worst with his Chad Pennington pick in the beginning of the 3rd round.  Are you kidding me???  Even Steve the Dolphin-Doinker wouldn't have picked up Pennington in the 13th round!

10.  Seal - The one thing Seal did do well...is pick up Minnesota's defense before Tom did.  Plus, seriously, how could he get any worse this year?  Sorry Mike...but you won 1 game last year.

9.  Tom - Usually known for his incredible drafts and clever posts, Tom screwed the pooch this year.  However, look for Matt Forte to have an Adrian Peterson'esque year considering Tom's luck.

8.  Steve - Too many Dolphins.  Only think the Dolphins are good for is Ace Ventura and the extra kick in BumbleBee tuna.

7.  Brooks - Have to admire the audacity to take on Tyler's burden of having Eli Manning at the helm.  

6.  Andy - Typical rookie pick up early with Mendehall and token Redskin pick up with Santana Moss.

5.  Abe - You all remember Hightower from the Police Academy movies...he was awesome.  I wonder whatever happened to him.

4.  Drew - Still can't believe Marion slipped to me at #11...but seriously, is Kitna or Aaron Rogers going to be reliable?

3.  Garrett - Why is Garrett so good every frickin' year at fantasy football and why is it that he is so awesome?

2.  Bryan - Returning champ looking to repeat (first one to repeat in league history)

1.  Tyler - Apparently he's the team to beat...but he's got to get past me week one!

That draft was SLOOOOOW.

In honor of the slow speed I will post a link to a great little vid. Its TV-14 so Abe, don't let your parents watch it and blame me.

Sick of Seeing Benji's Balls?

I don't know about you, but I'm growing ill from seeing cute little Benjamin's balls everytime I click on this page so I thought I'd throw in a pic of Michael Phelps when he was just a spermy and plug our survival football league on the side. If you haven't already done so, please sign up and invite as many other people as you'd like for survival football...very low maintenance, no cost, and a lot of fun. I'd like to fill it up to 50. Here's the deets:

Go to: http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/survival

Group ID#: 14430

Password: gojets

All you do is pick one NFL team to win each week. If they win, you move on to the next week. If they lose, you're done for the year. Only catch is you cannot pick the same team more than once. You'll be surprised how fun it is assuming you make it past week 1.

Enough about Brett Favre....More Davies Manhood.

I, like all of you, are sick of Brett Favre talk and were even more sickened when he went to our good friend's New York Jets. Not that we think this will do the Jets any good, but because we'll have to have at least one Brett Favre post a week for the next 20 or so to come. In order to end the shenanigans I will post something different although ironically prefaced with the same garbage.
My son Benjamin Bruce Davies was born on Aug 11th. He is a grumpy little bean with dark hair and massive manhood.
He is a little guy and we love having him. On a side note, here is a less provocative photo for your perusal. Much love.

Brett Farve and his deal with the devil...

The summer of 2008, Brett Farve announced his unretirement in front of cameras from several networks. One network, ESPN, upon hearing the news realized their wet dreams finally had come true and renamed themselves the BFN (Butt Fu**Network, I mean the Brett Farve Network).
In the excitement of the moment, John Madden jumped on a plane for the first time in known history to get across the country and hold his hero in a loving embrace. Mr. Madden asked the BFN if he could have exclusive rights to report all things “Brett” and do a 30 hour expose on the life and times of the best player of all time. (Which of course, once the special aired, it would play over and over again until the network had to break the cycle to show the latest Jets preseason, regular season, and of course post season game.)
John’s research took him to back to different segments of the world’s history he only thought he would remember from his childhood drawings in petroglyphs on canyon walls. John discovered that he was not the only human still living that experienced the sole continent known as Pangea. Fond memories of playing with the dinosaurs and the experiencing the earth’s ever changing environment as the continents separated, creating the world we know today. Mr. Madden discovered that Brett Farve was also amongst the dinos. Brett preferred the T-Rex over the Stegasaurus for the sport aspect the T-Rex offered. Unknown to all that are alive today, in our earth’s infancy, Brett Farve met a creature known to all of us as the devil, and he made a deal promising his eternal “youth” as long as Brett continued to do the devil’s bidding through out all of time. Brett concurred and played an integral part in our history.
Through out time, Brett has aligned himself with people of great power. It was Brett Farve that in the 12th century taught King Henry that killing his wife was a good thing (couldn’t agree more on some days). Later, he met with his peep, Adolf and taught him everything he knew. In the late 60’s Brett was sitting on a grassy knoll in Sugarland, TX as a prominent world leader drove by… following the devil’s bidding, the world leader was destroyed.
In reward for years and years of servitude, the devil gave Brett the gift of “the arm” that had the ability to throw the pigskin in a perfect spiral. Mr. Madden’s love affair with Brett didn’t start until the draft of 1991 (the year of the devil) where Brett was “chosen” 33rd overall.
His career spanned nearly 70 years (17… 70, what is the difference to someone that has lived for a kabillion years?) that had 442 touch down tosses and that, of course in Mr. Madden’s opinon, makes Brett the most amazing, most talented, most babe a licious football player of all time. (He would know after all- he’s been there since the beginning of time, though he didn’t have to sign a contract with the devil, he just lived an exceptionally healthy life.)
John interviewed several fans from Green Bay who were upset that Brett would go to another team, but since it is negative, John wouldn’t share those quotes with anyone. He found the sole Jets fan in South Bend of all places and he was quoted as saying, “I have been a firm believer of the devil’s power for many years. I am thrilled to hear that Brett brings the promise of “the arm” to my team, finally securing the Jets Super Bowl title. Suck it everyone else!”

Pre-Draft Franchise Picks (FINALIZED FINALLY)

1.  GotRuns - Mikey selects: Reggie Wayne

2.  Bastardos - Yergy selects: Brandon Marshall         

3.  Iced Americano - Booner selects: Edge James

4.  KGB - Jashua selects: Derek Anderson

5.  Brooks Lee Roth - Brooks P. selects: Lawrence Maroney

6.  Muscleheads - O Town selects: Plaxico Burress

7.  AJR - Abey selects: Maurice Jones-Drew

8.  Johnny Utah - Gfunk selects:   Anquan Boldin

9.  BigNips - Crance selects: TJ Housh

10. Laser Beams - Tommy J selects:  Peyton Manning

11.  Cool Hand Druke - Drew selects: Former Vol Jamal Lewis

12.  Busdrivers - Andy selects: Queer-bate Tony Romo

13. Kungfuchop - Tbone selects: Reggie Bush

14. Asskickers - Steve-arino selects: Andre Johnson

Draft Order Video

Most of you have likely seen this...but here is the academy award winning draft lottery video:  

Hey Steve-Arino You Bumlicker!

In good taste, I believe the first blog of the season should be dedicated to Steve Fletcher aka queer dolphin biscuit.  After all these years of sending me texts about Chad Pennington needing to get work done on his vagina, I thought you might like this picture.  Seriously, I hope you enjoy his 4th grade flies-up arm and his vagina.